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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

How Can I Stop Liking You?

How can I stop liking you when I see you all the time? Our friends are mutual, which means you’re at the same bar, at the same house parties, and at the same dinners. When you’re shuffling your feet to the music, or sitting on the couch sipping a beer, even when you’re stuffing your face with a burger, I can’t seem to concentrate on anyone else. It’s not your fault our social circles overlap, but you’ll never know how frustrating it feels. It’s not that I dislike seeing you frequently. On the contrary, I always look forward to it. Your presence makes my knees go numb and my tongue tie in a knot. But I’ll never get over you if I see you all the time.
How can I stop liking you when the sound of your voice gives me the most pleasant chills? All you need to do is speak to me, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. When we’re talking, people around us fade from my conscious, and I envision that we are alone, completely wrapped up in our conversation. Of course, in reality, our dialogues are utterly normal, far from anything special, but they always make me feel good nonetheless. How is it that you asking me the most basic question, such as how I am, can bring such a palpable joy? I’m sorry, but I’ll never get over you if we keep on speaking.
How can I stop liking you when you smile? I don’t mean when you smile at me — although that, of course, is a wonderful sensation, too — rather, just when you find something amusing, I like how your lips curl up and your teeth start to show. In all honesty, your smile is probably like a thousand other smiles, but for some reason, I notice yours. I used to think about how I could make you smile. I used to wonder if I would ever be the person who makes you happy. I try not to dwell on it anymore, since I am trying to get over you. But will I ever, if you keep smiling?
I like the color in your eyes, it’s a shade that I wouldn’t call smoldering, but it’s not subtle either. I like the way you dress. Your soft, worn sweaters are always so inviting. I like how smooth your skin looks and the length of your hair. I laugh at myself that I even notice something like the cut of your hair. But it’s true. Right now, your hair looks perfect.
I like your sense of humor. I like your taste in music. I like the fact that you’re nice and welcoming with everyone — you’re a genuinely sweet person. You’re just good.
But how can I stop liking you when your touch, and only yours, gives me electric shocks? I savor the moments when we hug, because I never want our embrace to end. When you put your arm around me in a friendly gesture, I feel warmer and safer. When we’re both out, and a great song comes on, and you take my hand and pull me into a twist (because neither of us like to let a great song go to waste), my head continues to spin long after our silly dance is over.
The tone of your voice, your simple smile, your playful touch, and your overall company — it all brings such happiness to my heart. But I am trying to get over you. I need to stop liking you and start seeing you as just my good companion. I need to stop wishing that we could be more. I like you very much as a friend, so I am hoping that sooner rather than later, my feelings for you will eventually end there. 


by : Catie Prendergast

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